Self check for social media users

As social networking grows, we are forced to pay the price of the loss of individual privacy. The impulse to share has caused many of us to inadvertently expose ourselves in ways that can compromise our safety and security. Social networking sites are not necessarily a closed and guarded universe.

Laws might not end sexism and misogyny online; but more awareness might. The best way to protect yourself is to not make yourself vulnerable in the first place. You are responsible for the information that appears in connection with your name and image and you have to make sure it does not have the potential to harm you now or in the future. I wanted to throw light on a few points which might help your social networking safer:

Whatever you post, tweet, update, share -- even if it's deleted immediately afterwards -- has the potential to be captured by someone, somewhere, without your knowledge. This is especially true of social networking sites including private messages shared between two people and postings to a private group. There is no such thing as "private" in the world of social media because anything you put up can potentially be grabbed, copied, saved on someone else's computer and mirrored on other sites

Separate Work and Family Keep your family safe, especially if you have a high profile position or work in a field that may expose you to high-risk individuals. Some women have more than one social networking account: one for their professional/public lives and one that's restricted to personal concerns and only involves family and close friends. If this applies to you, make it clear to family/friends to post only to your personal account, not your professional page; and don't let the names of spouses, children, relatives, parents, siblings appear there to protect their privacy. Don't let yourself be tagged in events, activities or photos that may reveal personal details about your life.

Keep track of your privacy settings and check them on a regular basis or at least monthly. Do not assume that the default setting will keep you safe. Many social networking sites frequently update and change settings, and often the defaults tend to make public more information than you may be willing to share.

Review Before Posting: Make sure your privacy settings enable you to review content in which you've been tagged by friends before they appear publicly on your page. This should include posts, notes, and photos. It may seem tedious, but it's much easier to deal with a small amount each day than to have to go back through weeks, months and even years to ensure that any and all content related to you puts forth an image you're comfortable living with.

If it's a family affair the best way of communicating with you is through private messaging or email -- not posting on your page. Often, relatives who are new to social media don't understand the difference between public and private conversations and how they take place online. Don't hesitate to delete something that is too personal for fear of hurting feelings -- just make sure you message privately to explain your actions, or better make a call on the phone.

Some online games, quizzes, and other entertainment apps pull information from your page and post it without your knowledge. Make sure that you know the guidelines of any app, game or service and do not allow it unfettered access to your information.

Never accept a friend request from someone you don't know. This may seem like a no-brainer, but even when someone appears as a mutual friend of a friend or several friends, think twice about accepting unless you can concretely identify who they are and how they're connected to you.

Social media is fun -- but don't be lulled into a false sense of security when it comes to protecting your personal information. The goal of social networking sites is to generate revenue and even though the service is free, there's the hidden cost of your privacy. It's up to you to keep tabs on what shows up and to limit your exposure and protect yourself.

Simple Social Media Code of Conducts for Men (?)

Social media has become a free platform for all to voice their unsolicited opinions. Almost every woman with a social media presence and pictures online has experienced thirsty guys wanting to talk about how she makes his ***** feel or has handled a stranger’s DMs to talk her into a date.

First rule of trying to talk to women social media: leave your **** out of it. Even when the pictures are overtly sexual, most people aren’t going to want to hear about it. Stop the turn on comments even for pictures that are clearly intended to be sexy – whether they were taken professionally or simply for fun. Paying someone a sincere compliment is a regular part of flirting. After all, who doesn’t like to hear that they’re enchanting or good looking.

Mentioning how turned on you are by somebody’s pics is not only totally unmanly, but can also completely shut you down from her system. It’s not flattering, it’s not validating and it’s not wanted. Your online equivalent of catcalling, making sexual or even overly flirty comments to someone you don’t know is going to be uncomfortable and unwelcome at best.

Complimenting someone’s looks nowadays is both boring and unoriginal. You’re almost never the first person to suggest that maybe she could be a model or how great her legs look. Giving a compliment about women’s looks online also tends to carry the unspoken “…so be grateful” appended to the end. Many guys treat a woman’s attractiveness as something being done for – or at – them. Complimenting her becomes less about praise and more about giving their approval.

If you want to compliment someone on Instagram or Facebook and stand out from the horde of douchebags flinging their ***** at her? Compliment her on her choices, not her looks.

The other thing to keep in mind: save the snark and sarcasm for people you know extremely well the people who know you well enough to read your tone in text. Snark is the devalued coin of the Internet and sarcasm is a shitty substitute for wit most of the time. 99.999% of the population isn’t going to appreciate it, even when they recognize it at all.There are few things that women find more infuriating than the guy who assumes she’s an idiot. Whether it’s the guy who believes that he knows better and needs to prove it or the dude who assumes that she has but a dilettante’s experience, no woman has ever appreciated a guy who leaps uninvited into her comments or DMs to “um…actually” her. Especially when she knows more than him.

One of the biggest mistakes that guys make when trying to talk to women on Instagram or other social media: going through entire media timeline and making your presence known. Another biggest social media sins guys commit is liking or commenting on every picture, post or comment she’s made. This behavior sends a message that you have studied every inch of me, every moment of my life and now you know me better than myself. There’s nothing wrong with looking ; that is, after all, part of the point of Instagram; but looking is passive and anonymous. The comments and likes, however, get her attention; it imposes yourself upon her and makes her uncomfortable.

Another fact is that, when you can observe her conversations isn’t an invitation to join them. People frequently have conversations with friends on Twitter or Facebook and don’t appreciate folks who suddenly need to throw their two paise in. Having a conversation in a “public” space doesn’t give everyone in earshot the right to chime in. You should treat them as conversations you overhear at restaurants or on the streets. Existence isn’t permission after all, and violating social contracts is frequently a sign of low-emotional intelligence - an unattractive trait.

Treat her like a person, it doesn’t matter if she’s an Internet celebrity or just some cutie or your long time crush: she’s a person above everything else. Not an object for you to drool over. She’s not a Goddess to be put on a pedestal or your dancing monkey who needs your approval.

You build relationships through trust and comfort. Most of the men she’s going to encounter online are going to be pushy and obnoxious. If you can be someone other than that show her. Showing her respect can make you stand out from the crowd. Showing her that she can trust you can make her more likely to talk to you out of the other people clamoring for her attention. Those conversations can become the foundation for something amazing together.

So when you want to talk to women on social media, put your best self forward. Be clever. Be insightful. Be respectful. Put yourself out there, and then wait till she starts to pick up those threads…